A Devil's Advocate

“Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done—on Earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread…Amen.”

Marjorie McEnnis smiled and scooped a bite of macaroni and cheese to her mouth. As she chewed, her eyes widened, and she let out an almost inaudible groan of pleasure.

“I think you missed part of the prayer, Miss McEnnis.” The man sat, unbuttoned his suit jacket, and straightened his tie.

“Oh, please Mr. Damon, call me Margie. When I pray for mealtimes, I always stop at the ‘daily bread’ part. It’s my little inside joke with Jesus.” She giggled and popped a barbeque-sauce-drenched chicken nugget into her mouth.

Mr. Damon looked around the bustling buffet. Several families and couples milled about, but he and Marjorie sat at her normal two-seater table by the restaurant’s front window.

“Well, Margie, thank you for agreeing to meet me. I’m sure you caught my job title when I emailed you.”

She nodded, chewing on a bite of pizza. After swallowing, she said, “Yes sir. A Devil’s Advocate…I didn’t know that was a real job. But please, ask me anything. Satan doesn’t scare me.”

“Excellent. Miss McEnnis, you have built quite the reputation over the years. My employer, the Devil, is quite concerned. None of his tricks seem to be working on you.”

Marjorie grinned while sipping her sweet tea. “Thank you, Mr. Damon. I take that as a compliment.”

“Everyone who comes in contact with you seems to all say the same thing: You are excellent at resisting temptation. How do you do it?”

“I do my best to follow the Bible. I admit it when I make a mistake, which keeps me humble. Then I always apologize and do my best not to do it again. I’m not perfect, you know, but I’d say Jesus is my secret weapon.”

Mr. Damon scowled. “I don’t know if I believe it, Margie. What are some of the temptations you resist regularly?”

“I never gossip, I just give it to God. Sometimes it’s really hard not to talk about people. And if I ever do, I go straight to the person and apologize, and do everything I can to make it right. I never compromise the truth. I don’t mind telling people not to disobey the Bible. Just the other day, a young woman was telling me she wanted to move in with her boyfriend, and lemme tell you, she heard the gospel that day.”

“Didn’t she call you judgmental?”

“Not at all. I offered her a place to live. People don’t get offended at me, because I approach everything in humility.” She nibbled on a chicken wing.

“Very interesting. What about forgiveness?”

“I’ve forgiven everyone who’s ever wronged me. Even Karl St. James. You of that man? I was married for ten months, and this guy shot my husband, Johnny. I’ve missed my husband ever since. But I forgave St. James. I also forgave all of Johnny’s relatives who blamed me for his death. They just needed some love. Anyone who’s ever misjudged me got a hug in return. And if they didn’t…”

“You apologized for it, and made it right.”

“Exactly.”

“That’s fascinating, Miss McEnnis. But your husband’s been gone for a long time. Have you been tempted sexually?”

“Tempted, why yes of course. I am a human, Mr. Damon, and I know that other women may be shy in this area of their lives, but I want to be an example to my fellow sisters in Christ. I’ve been tempted, but by the grace of God, I’ve always resisted.”

“Really?”

“It’s true! In fact, just the other day I met a model, and he’s been on the covers of several of those steamy romance novels, and guess what? He tried seducing me! Didn’t know who he was dealing with, that man! I’m so strong at fighting temptation, I could read one of them sex books, enjoy the story, and not sin even once! That man heard the gospel that day, I assure you.”

“Well, Margie, I’m at a loss. What am I supposed to tell my employer?”

“You tell the Devil that I belong to Jesus!”

“With all due respect, Miss McEnnis, my employer has dealt with a lot of Christians over the years, and tempted them to sin just fine. What’s your secret? How do you fight so hard while staying so humble?”

“It’s all Jesus, Mr. Damon. I truly believe that it’s my spiritual gift—the gift to live victoriously, hallelujah! Humility has always been a strong point in my life.”

Marjorie ate the last few bites of food off her plate.

“Miss McEnnis, this has been an illuminating conversation. I think I got all the information I need. I’ll let you eat in peace.” Mr. Damon stretched out his hand and Marjorie shook it. “Thank you, once again.”

“Pleasure’s all mine! Now excuse me, I gotta get seconds. At a buffet, you know you have to eat your money’s worth!” 

She winked and made a beeline for the taco bar. Soon she also had a big bowl of ice cream, and she munched in satisfaction, happy to celebrate an interview well done.

Mr. Damon exited the restaurant. He looked through the window at her table one last time before heading to his car in the parking lot. He sat in the driver’s seat, retrieved his phone from his pocket, and dialed the first number on his Recent Calls list.

“Hello?” A deep, smooth voice said.

“Yes, hi, this is Damon. I just left the buffet.”

“Excellent.”

“It was just like you predicted. She says she’s strong and you can’t touch her.”

“I don’t need to touch her.” The voice laughed. “She shows no signs of change? Nothing to be concerned about?”

“Nothing that I could see, sir.”

“Good. We’ll keep watching her from a distance just in case. Thank you, Damon.”

“You’re welcome. So everything’s going according to plan?”

“Indeed. Marjorie McEnnis’s heart attack will arrive right on schedule.”