Not a Hill(Song) I'm Willing to Die On
Not a Hill(Song) I’m Willing to Die On: Thoughts on Marty Sampson, Joshua Harris, and Other High-Profile Christians Losing Faith
I almost skipped Musings Monday this week. I’m 114,000 words+ deep into my next book project with another approximately 15,000 words to go. I was going to focus more on the book, get the rough draft done, and continue the blog next week or the week after, but I made the mistake of going on Facebook, on which I saw some sad news.
It turns out, Marty Sampson, prolific songwriter and worship leader out of Hillsong Church in Sydney, Australia is no longer a Christian. And this news comes not long after famous, sub-culture-defining former pastor and writer Joshua Harris announced that he no longer identifies as Christian.
Now, if you know me or if you’ve read this blog before, you probably already know that I’m a Christian. You might know, especially in my fiction, my goal is always to write from a posture of humility and authenticity, so that people of all religious and cultural backgrounds can enjoy the story and perhaps relate with and think about what I’m sharing. But with a news story like this, as with some of my previous blog posts, I’m going to be directing my comments specifically at the Christian community.
Christians, here’s a reality check: this isn’t the first time a celebrity Christian has walked away from the faith. With these two happening close together, I want to reflect on what led to these failures and how we can learn from their examples.
Before we explore what we can learn from them, let’s take a quick moment to review the context.
Who are these people?
I don’t actually know that much about Marty Sampson. You can see his wikipedia page here, which also lists the major songs he’s written or cowritten over the years. If you’re not familiar with Hillsong or with worship music, it’s totally possible you’ve never heard his name before. But he’s partially responsible for writing some of Hillsong Worship’s most influential songs.
Hillsong Church is a large church in Sydney, Australia, and though their pastor is also well known and they have a good reputation as a church, most of their recognition comes from their worship music, which has literally molded the worship music genre. Besides making them tons of money and making them a household name to Christians worldwide, the songs themselves have been sung in Christian churches around the world for literally decades.
When I say Hillsong Worship is prolific, I mean they’ve released a new live album almost every year since the early 1990s. It pains me to look at Marty Sampson’s writing credits knowing where he is now, because I’ve heard and sang A LOT of those songs multiple times in a congregational church setting.
So, even though I don’t know too much about Sampson’s specific faith journey and life, I do know he’s been within the Hillsong Church ecosystem for literally decades. For DECADES, not only has he been a household name, but thousands (if not millions) of churches—not just people, but full church congregations—have been signing songs he’s written.
This is a level of success many certified gold pop musicians can only dream about.
The entire time, he’s been within a successful church. A church that, to my knowledge, has good teaching and presumably solid theology (I know, that’s debatable, and you may disagree, but I do not have the time in this article to explain or defend that point).
Yet, in his now-deleted Instagram post, he said “Nobody talks about” tough questions surrounding Jesus, God, Hell, and other stuff (see Relevant’s article for full context). He repeats the "nobody talks about it” refrain multiple times in his post. As pointed asked by theologian and apologist Dr. Michael Brown (see article here), “What Christian world have you been living in?”
Indeed, his comments seem random.
We’re also looking today at former pastor and Christian celebrity Joshua Harris.
Harris skyrocketed to instant fame with his book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Though he’s always had critics of the book’s premise, Harris almost instantly became a revered relationship expert, and his book helped fashion Christian “purity culture” in the late 90s through 00s—a hyper-conservative movement that rejected traditional dating for “courtship”.
Though I haven’t read the book, I’ve gathered that his ideas came from a genuine place. After all, the concept of purity is biblical and needs to be valued by every Christian in all aspects of life, not just dating and relationships. The problem is, over the years his version of courtship led people to a far, unbiblical extreme—a place of fear, legalism, and entitlement.
Young people (who initially embraced his books and philosophy) began to come out and criticize his message because it didn’t work for them and actually caused them more harm than good. Rebuttal books like Courtship in Crisis explain both Harris’s failure and a biblical alternative (Shoutout to writer Thomas Umstattd, Jr., who also cohosts my favorite podcast Novel Marketing). Harris began to shift his stance and listen to his critics in the fallout of his own making.
Harris began to apologize and reevaluate himself. After beginning the deconstruction process, he’s now at this point: Years later, he no longer considers himself a Christian, and he divorced his wife—a tragic choice that ultimately renders his original thesis null and void.
But how?? I understand reconsidering and recalibrating one’s faith, but what causes someone to leave the faith entirely?
I think if we put ourselves in Sampson’s and Harris’s shoes, we might better understand where they’re coming from.
But, if you’re a Christian, it’s still equal parts saddening and unnerving. We can and should learn from their examples.
To do so, ask yourself these questions:
Where is your foundation?
If I ask you “Are you a Christian?”, you’d undoubtedly say yes. If I ask “Have you accepted Jesus into your heart?”, you’d probably also agree enthusiastically. But please, take a moment to think about your life. Think about how you’re living.
My real question here is How do you see Jesus?
Where does your understanding of Jesus come from? In your own words, who is Jesus?
Do you see Jesus as a ticket to heaven? Is Jesus simply someone your family prays to? Is Jesus simply the figurehead of a religion, you do you know Him?
Do you know Jesus on a personal level?
I know people have repeated the words “relationship with Jesus” so frequently and flippantly that it may seem cliché to you, but please consider your relationship with Jesus. Do you pray and read the bible because it’s right and that’s what Christians are supposed to do, or do you actually have a friendship with Jesus?
Of course, to the world outside of Christianity, these questions sound crazy. Isn’t friend of God just a term in scripture to say we’re not going to Hell? You can’t actually know God or hear God… Actually, you can. You might not hear His voice clearly everyday, but God is real, and He does talk to us.
If you understand the true foundation of the Gospel, you know that sin separates us from God, and because of that we were made enemies of God. But the purpose of Jesus coming to Earth, sacrificing himself on the cross, and resurrecting was not just so you get to go to heaven. It was to recapture the beauty of the Garden of Eden—the beauty that finite man can walk and talk with an infinite God.
The goal of the gospel is reconciliation, which brings man back to God, which means we can once again be with Him.
When you become a Christian, you are made new and you are adopted into God’s family. You are in right relationship with Him!
If this gospel truth isn’t your foundation, than maybe you misunderstand the gospel. Maybe serving in church is a means of doing what’s right, but if you don’t know God, you’re missing the point entirely.
Marty Sampson cowrote the song “Best Friend” with Joel Houston. Marty, I don’t know if you wrote the lyrics, music, or parts of both, but I have to wonder…when you sang that song, did you mean the lyrics, or did it become just another cliche?
Are you in a bubble?
People like Marty Sampson and Joshua Harris are part of the fabric of Christian culture. But you need to know that the Christian subculture in America and Australia does not always produce genuine Christianity.
Maybe it started from noble goals. I still respect Hillsong Church and have no ill will towards them, but I do hope they learn from Marty’s admission. I hope they see that in their evangelistic fervor and worshipful zeal, something got lost in translation.
Did Sampson think it was all about the money? Did he see non-Christlike behavior in people claiming to do the Lord’s work? Based on his statement, he definitely didn’t feel free to address his doubts, and he likely felt that much of the Christianity he saw on display was surface based. Did he see hypocrisy? Intellectual dishonesty? Both happen far too often in Christian culture.
Maybe his foundation was simplistic. Maybe he was trapped in a bubble.
Christian culture can be like a bubble, where Christians rarely interact with those outside the faith. Maybe what began with positive motives turned into a legalistic extreme.
How many Christians have you seen avoid the culture around them—refuse to listen to secular music, refuse to watch certain movies, etc.—only for them to never spend time with sinners and have a distorted view of what the world outside of Christianity actually is?
Many people, after spending time in the Christian bubble, will leave the faith under the impression that Christians are more concerned with maintaining status quo and power within their own, self-sustaining subculture with little concern with how the world really works.
They may also feel that Christians ignore real questions, which leads them to think that the Church doesn’t actually have all the answers like we claim to.
It’s hard to believe that Christianity is right about the world when the world seems to not fit the image that the church likes to paint it as. And instead of facing hard questions, it’s easier to ignore them all and just give a basic answer for everything.
Does your bubble avoid difficult questions? Does your bubble let you think for yourself through hard issues, or are they afraid that when you actually think for yourself you’ll end up deceived?
Jesus created your brain. If your Christian community doesn’t want you to use it, the problem is with them, not you.
Also, are you spoiled?
In your Christian world, are you told a prosperity gospel where if you follow these steps and pray these exact prayers God will act like a genie and life will go exactly like you want it to?
God is not required to cater to your every whim and fancy.
If we adopt this dangerous mindset that God will automatically give you everything you want as long as you have faith, you are building on an unstable foundation.
When things do go your way, you’re spoiled and have a distorted view of God.
When things don’t go your way, your entire worldview comes crashing down.
Last question…
Are you encouraged to think through your own thoughts, feelings, and doubts in a healthy way?
Questioning is a normal part of life. Doubts don’t make you faithless or weak or less-than; doubts make you human.
If your congregation isn’t letting you be honest with yourself, you need to find a Christian community that will.
Application
After asking yourself those questions, here are some concrete steps to help you move forward.
One: Pray for those who fall away.
Pray for Marty Sampson. Pray for Joshua Harris. Pray for anyone in a similar position. When someone “falls away”, it doesn’t automatically mean their gone forever. Sometimes, deconstruction is necessary for someone to rebuild their faith on a solid foundation.
Though it’s too early to tell for Sampson and Harris, it’s entirely possible they’ll return to their faith in a fuller conviction with a greater strength and confidence than they ever had in the past.
So, pray. Pray that the Holy Spirit would speak to their heart. Pray that they’ll see Jesus on a personal level, that they’ll see God for the person He is, beyond just a religion or cultural system.
Two: Extend grace to your friends and family members.
Life is a journey, and nobody’s in the exact same place as you. It’s okay if you friend doesn’t see Jesus the same way as you. Let them think through their questions. Be patient with them. Humbly share your perspective when they ask, but always respect their autonomy.
Be there for your friends, and let them be there for you. Life is a struggle. Sometimes, they just need a safe place to struggle, and often times in the refining fire of that struggle, they find the strength and joy they’ve been seeking all along.
Three: Allow yourself to ask these hard questions.
The same grace is needed for you to get through your life! We all need help. Find a place where you can ask and process whatever you need to.
It’s not called doubting, it’s called learning. It’s not being a bad Christian, but being a good disciple!
In life, we’re always learning. Let your learning strengthen you in the foundation of Christ—his Gospel and his Person.
Because Hillsong is not the hill I’m willing to die on. But for the truth I know in Jesus? Even when I struggle, even when I’m confused or disheartened, the answer is obvious. I’d do anything for my “Best Friend”.
In the words of young Marty Sampson and Joel Houston:
I believe in the One called Savior
I believe He's the Risen One
I believe that I'll live forever
I believe that the King will comeBecause I have found this love
And I believe in the Son
Show me Your wayJesus You are my best friend
And You will always be
Nothing will ever change that
[Repeat 100 times, Hillsong-style!]
