The Whole Time
He and She locked eyes when she entered with her guest. He opened his mouth to speak, but she started talking first. She said,
“I know this is sudden, but I want you to meet my friend.
He’s just misunderstood. He just got on your bad side and now he’s the bad guy just because you’re jealous. You got mad at him and now you can’t stand it when he gets the attention.
He told me the whole story.
He told me that he only wanted some friends and he only wanted to help. He could see your friends and who they were becoming. He saw me as one of them. He saw me and said he could help.
He said you were too controlling and manipulative. He said you didn’t really love me. He said you weren’t as good as you claimed to be. He said you only help people to get people on your side but that you didn’t really care. He said he cared, though. He saw what you were turning me into.
He said, “Hey, you, you can be free.” He told me that you liked to make rules. He told me that you wanted to limit me.
He said he understands me. He understands that I want to stay out of trouble, but what is trouble? What is right and wrong? Isn’t it all just arbitrary? You’re not a bad person, he said to me. He said what if, instead of staying out of trouble, really you’re just missing out? Do you want to miss out? Do you want to be a slave? What’s the point of limiting yourself?
He said, it’s not about being a jerk or being evil, but what’s the crime in getting what’s yours? What’s the crime in getting what you need? Of course, it’s good to help people, but if you’re living for them, when do you get what you need?
Treat ‘yo self, right?
You need to make sure you get what you need. No one in life is going to give you what you need! You sometimes just need to take it. So take it! Get that life! Do what you gotta do to make it through!
He reminded me to chase my dreams. He reminded me to think of myself. He helped me and gave me what I needed when nobody else would.
He says he knew you a long time ago, but I have to be honest: I’ve never seen you two in a room together. It’s kind of funny, I always wanted to see what would happen when you meet, because when he talks about you, I see a side of you that you haven’t shown me.
He said you sometimes get angry, but I always knew you as a generally welcoming person. I wanted to bring him here so you guys could talk it out once and for all. I wanted to show you what he’s done for me. I wanted to show you he’s not a bad guy, like everyone says he is. He’s really nice and caring; he just needs more friends.
I know you have a good heart, but I also feel like you’ve given him a bad rap. I know you’re nice and, I admit, you’re really good at showing mercy, but I always felt like he was never part of that conversation, and it saddened me.
So yeah, let me grab an extra chair, I know there’s always room for more at the table, and maybe over dinner, you two can make amends.
I know it’s been a long time, and you might not recognize him, but let me introduce you to Luke Brighton, my other best friend.
“
Luke extended his hand, but the man standing at the table’s head did not shake it. Indeed, everyone seated at the table froze in silence, not even breathing.
The man finally said, “You do know who this man is, right?”
She nodded her head. “Absolutely. I’m telling you, he’s not that bad. He should be able to join us, yes? You can make amends.”
“You know who I am, right?”
His words confused her. She put a hand on his arm. “Of course I know who you are, baby. You look sad…what’s this all about?”
He said, “If you know who I am, and you know who he is, and you know where we are, certainly you would know not to bring him here…”
She looked over at the dozens, hundreds, thousands gathered for supper at the infinitely long table. They were still, frozen in place.
She said, “Jesus, my love, I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”
“This so-called ‘Luke Brighton’ is the one who calls himself Lucifer, the Bright and Morning Star. He is a counterfeit angel and the father of lies. And he’s been lying the whole time.”
“No, it’s not what you think. He’s not a liar, just misunderstood.”
“He’s also a thief.”
“What the hell did he steal, besides my heart?”
Jesus raised his eyebrows.
She said, “Oh stop, you know I didn’t mean it like that. You know my heart belongs to you.”
“Do I?”
“Seventeen years ago, I asked you to come into my heart. You really think I don’t want you there? Just because I bring a friend who wasn’t originally on the guest list? You’re being really petty, you know. It’s my party too.”
She looked into Jesus’s eyes and could see tears forming around their edges. However, he did not cry, nor did he yell.
He said, voice even and words staccato, “We are at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. In what way did you think it’d be appropriate to bring the man you’re cheating on me with to our wedding reception?”
“Oh, come on, Jesus! It’s not like that!”
“What’s it like, then?”
She said, “Of course I love you more! I gave myself to you. But I can have other friends. You don’t have to be so controlling. He helped me be myself. He said I didn’t have to fear.”
“I said you don’t have to fear. Perfect love casts out fear! Why would you fear, when you knew my love is perfect?”
“I know you have love and stuff, but Luke said—”
“You believed a lie. You believed all his lies and cheated on me and somehow expected me to be okay with that.”
“You said I’m supposed to love everybody.”
“You are! Love your neighbor as yourself. I also said to be holy as I am holy. I also said you prove your love when you follow my ways. Deep intimate love means trust, unity, and putting the other above yourself. I gave myself for you, and you repaid me by living for yourself.”
“It’s not like that,” she said. “I was just following my heart.”
“No, you were gratifying your flesh. Not the same thing. Ever since you allowed him into your life, you’ve been making excuses to get away with your sin. You continually cheated on me, tried to hide it, didn’t try to change, acted like nothing’s wrong, and somehow expected me to be fine.”
“This is unbelievable, Jesus. Don’t you love me for who I am?”
“Yes. But you don’t love me for who I am. You’ve been using me, not loving me.”
“Luke here has never accused me of using him. He’s been helping me exercise my freedom, the freedom YOU said I had!”
“I freed you from slavery, and now you’re mad because I didn’t want you to walk back into the same behavior that enslaved you in the first place. You realize how messed up that is? How do expect me to be okay with that? You’re spitting on everything I’ve given you.”
“It’s not like that at all! I just needed a release, and Luke was here for me.”
Jesus said, “I’ve always been here for you, but you literally left me for the one I saved you from.”
“Stop being so dramatic! Luke’s not that bad. Surely you can be merciful to him, just like you’re merciful to everyone at this table.”
“His name isn’t Luke. He’s a liar, a thief, and an accuser. He’s taking your heart, and he wants to take your soul! Why would you listen to him?”
“Obviously, you’re not listening to me. He helped me get things you wouldn’t give me. I can get different things from different friends. I’m a dynamic person. I knew you were merciful, and figured even if this meeting would be awkward, you’d eventually come around and understand and—”
“No,” Jesus said.
“What?”
“You saying you know this about me or that about me, but no. It’s clear to me that you never knew me at all. And apparently, I never knew you.”
“Wh-wh, what do you mean?”
“I mean, he’s been the devil the whole time. He’s been leading you astray the whole time. He’s been killing you the whole time. He’s not welcome to my wedding feast. And if you have a problem with that, you’re not welcome here either.”
She slowly backed away. “I, I, I thought…I guess I don’t know you.” She started to cry, but then screamed, “He was always there for me!”
“No,” Jesus said, “I was. And I wanted to know you, and marry you. But you didn’t want to get to know me for me. You just wanted my stuff.” He shrugged, his face sad, demeanor set, somehow powerless at her decision.
She turned around and grabbed the Devil’s hand. “Come on, Luke. You said after this, we could go to the lake together. That’ll be fun! Where’s the lake?”
“Straight ahead,” he said.
The heavy, manor doors shut behind them. Thirty yards ahead, the ground stopped at a steep drop. When they got to the cliff’s edge, she understood, the glow from the lake casting a shadow behind her.
The Devil said, “To tell the truth, I never wanted to go to the lake. I just wanted take a friend with me.”
She tried to let go of his hand, but he gripped her tight.
She said, “He was right the whole time.”
Just as she yanked her hand from his grip, the edge of the cliff crumbled, and both of them fell to the lake below.
